Let’s discuss what’s Anger first?
Anger is when we are hungry; please note hungry… hehheheh…
How do we react? The first reaction we have is shouting, slam doors, storm out and even sit in our Kop Bhavans…
(From Ramayan: Kop Bhavans is also known as the chamber of wreath. In olden days, in king's palaces there used to be a small room where a queen went to show her anger to Raajaa (King) when she wanted Raajaa to fulfill her any wish. She wore only old torn clothes, with loose hair and sat or lie down on bare floor. Since all this was not proper for a queen to be like this, Raajaa usually had to fulfill her wish. That is why Kaikeyee adopted this way and got succeeded, in bringing exile to Ram…)
In childhood, I used to have my Kop Bhavan, (felt like Queen-Gaalfuli-puffed up cheeks) because I didn’t like hurting people and I spoke things I didn’t meant, so sat in one room…that’s what we do, isn’t it? Oh! Yes, there was a topping as well…I didn’t used to eat during the time of anger to control my anger, I fasted and made my mother fast, she loved me and so she won’t eat too… Now, I think how stupid I used to be… heheheheh…
What are the two kinds of anger?
When we see something wrong, unfair and undeserved around us? Or even when our wishes are not fulfilled… Now, there are two kinds of anger to highlight on: One is Productive and the other is Mismanaged Anger…
Productive Anger is when we stand up for something which is right, speak, don’t stand still and be one of the dumb onlookers, but in a matter-of-fact manner, and when you do that in a cool manner, you bring positive changes in and around you…try and add a touch of humor, it’s one of the best spices that resides in the brain…
Mismanaged Anger is counterproductive and can be unhealthy. Its intense, out of control, misdirected, overly aggressive, lead to poor decision making and problem solving, problems with relationship and at work, and the most adverse effect is we have on our health…
What could be the possible Solution then?
My elder maternal uncle (MamaG) used to see me angry (Short-tempered I was!) and suggested to take deep breaths and count in a reverse manner, I never used to follow then. But, now I do! Drinking water is an instant solution! Isn’t that we do when the fire is around, same goes for anger too, it’s the fire within which needs to cool down. And, never bunk on your food! I never make my mother fast again, if she is angry or I am angry, I cool myself off and prepare food for all of us! How can you ever think of putting the person in pain, you are in Love with! I love her a lot! And, then the problem is deal with afterwards in a matter-of-fact manner! Productive anger is when you present your views in a matter-of-fact manner, without losing your cool! Even making people laugh, when you are doing it! If you can do that, I mean presenting your logic while making people around you laugh! You are just a Wow, there! (Please note it needs practice: so be Humorous first…hehhehe) Be the Star! I have learnt a lot from my Uncle and elder brother and sister too! They speak logic and that too in a cool manner! I love their way of managing things, especially my Uncle, who does his bit for all, including the society; extremely emotional, yet logical, full of humour, down-to-earth and very loving! If I talk in a matter-of-fact tone, most of the credit goes to my Uncle, he is an inspiration! Maybe I will write about him separately someday!
Of course, my RCST students, a residential college, beginning of my career…they have seen and tolerated my anger… hehhehe… They made me laugh and laugh and laugh, and made me patient, now students who can make you laugh, you can think to what extent they are sharp! They made me patient and cool, too. Even in Adyant, they wouldn’t let me be serious for long and crack a joke to make me laugh! My students,from RCST to ABIT... whom I have thought to give something back through whatever I have learned, gifted me patience and laughter, my cousins; maternal brothers..and Mayank and Priyanshu Parasar who have made me laugh, and taught me that art of living is in Laughing!
hehehhehehe…
So, drink water, eat your food and laugh out loud in order to talk logic! Don't carry your anger forward too. It will keep you disturbed and won't let you sleep... Forgive and Forget, start your day afresh!
I am paying my gratitude to all those people who have made me laugh, my friends too!
(P.S. I will be happy if you suggest some other tips to keep the anger in control! Happy Reading!)
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